I have been keeping this online diary to remind me of my emotions.
To make me remember every piece of shit I have gone through and every moment when God showered me with happiness.
I am writing today to update myself about the foolish things I've had done.
About the privacy of my life that I was not able to maintain after going through endless depressions.
About the silence I wanted to maintain to stop gossip-makers from making foul stories and feeding on mine.
About the people who came to leave me in total devastation.
About the rescue that came to give relief.
About the relief that was not forever.
About the friends that made me divert the attention from forever.
Well, those are just stories of the past.
What's beautiful today is that I had my blessing.
I am a fully pledged member of the Church. Still asking myself if I really have a calling.
Since last Tuesday morning, I have heard the stories of nuns and those who wanted to be in it.
I still want to get enlightened. Although my heart had pushed the calling away. It had opened its own eyes to what's inside the place where I wanted to be. And that vocation is not diversion from heartbreaks. If its meant to tear apart, then it will.
And as for the love of God, we can always serve. It will not matter if I am a nun or not.
Service doesn't have requirements. There is no job description but pure love.
